How do I help a child who is scared of the dark 3 to 5 years?

What the evidence says

Being scared of the dark is very common between ages 3 and 5. At this age, children have big imaginations but cannot yet fully tell the difference between pretend and real. That is why a shadow can turn into a monster in their mind, especially at night.

The first step is to take the fear seriously instead of brushing it off. Do not tease your child about being scared or tell them it is silly, even gently. Being laughed at can make a child trust you less and can make the fear last longer. Instead, name the feeling: "I hear that the dark feels scary to you right now."

Keep the bedroom lighting under your child's control as much as possible. A dim night light, a hallway light left on, or a dimmer switch can help. Over time, let your child decide when they feel ready to turn the light down further, rather than forcing a fully dark room right away.

Small, steady steps help more than big changes. Some families give a stuffed animal a job as a nighttime "protector," or play a favourite game in a slightly darker room and make the room a little darker each time the child feels ready. This slow, gentle approach, sometimes called graded exposure, has shown good results in research, including studies with children as young as 3.

If your child wakes at night, go to comfort them in their own room rather than bringing them into your bed, since that can make the message "you are not safe alone" stronger. Most fear of the dark fades with time and support. If the fear is severe, lasts many months, or is stopping your child from sleeping or doing everyday activities, it is worth talking to your child's doctor.