My daughter saw me crying about my grandma when she died and I told her why I was crying and that was 9 months ago. She is 5 years old now. She asks about death and dying often. I say heaven and god. Is there is a better way to explain?

What the evidence says

It's completely fine to use heaven and God if that fits your family's beliefs. Spiritual ideas can bring real comfort to both of you. The thing to add alongside them is a simple, literal explanation of what death actually is, because young children think in very concrete terms.

At 5, kids are still learning that death is permanent, happens to every living thing, and means the body stops working completely, no breathing, eating, or feeling. Try short, direct sentences like: grandma's body stopped working, so she died, and that means we won't see her anymore, but we can remember her. Saying she's watching from heaven can come after that, as a comforting extra idea, not instead of the plain fact.

Try to avoid softer phrases like passed away, went to sleep, or went on a trip. Kids take language literally, so these can make them anxious about sleep or travel, or confused about whether the person is really gone. Using the actual words died and dead, gently, actually reduces fear over time.

Asking about death again and again nine months later is completely normal and expected, not a sign you did something wrong. Young children process big ideas slowly, in pieces, over months or even years, revisiting the topic as their understanding grows. Each time she asks, a short, honest answer is enough; you don't need a whole new conversation.

Watch for signs she thinks she caused it, or fears you or others will die soon, since young kids sometimes blame themselves or worry about losing more people. If she starts asking those kinds of questions, gently reassure her nobody is to blame and that you're healthy and expect to be around a long time. If her worry becomes intense, frequent, or gets in the way of sleep or play, it's worth mentioning to her doctor.