Should you ignore tantrums? Or how to handle them?

What the evidence says

Tantrums are a normal part of development, most common between about 1.5 and 5 years old, and happen because young children don't yet have the words or self-control to handle big frustration. The Canadian Paediatric Society's approach is 'positive discipline': stay calm, keep your message short and firm, acknowledge the feeling ('I can see you're upset'), and avoid shaming or physical punishment. You don't need to ignore your child as a person, but you should avoid rewarding the tantrum itself.

If a meltdown happens because you said no to a toy or screen time, giving in teaches that tantrums work. Experts recommend staying nearby, keeping your own reactions calm, not over-explaining or negotiating mid-meltdown, and praising calmer behaviour once your child settles. Prevention matters too: noticing common triggers like hunger, tiredness or abrupt transitions, giving warnings before changes, and offering choices can reduce how often tantrums happen.

A brief 'time-in' (sitting with your child once they're calmer) is generally preferred over time-outs for children under 3. See a doctor if tantrums involve self-injury, extreme aggression, are unusually prolonged, or continue well past the toddler years, as these can signal something else going on.